Friday, July 21, 2017

Lonely Abandon: (Unedited): 21 July 2017:

The loneliness from apparent abandonment you feel. May not be because of those who have left you. It may be because it was you who abandoned the good things, the righteous ways. 
Young people of this modern era seem to be abandoning their families. Without a single care in the world except only for themselves. The cost of this abandonment is huge. The consequences of which will be even the loss of their family title, family position and their family name. Once the family branch begins to die. It dies unless drastic measures immediately takes place. But, if those persons who are genetically responsible for the continuation of their own family name continues being a prodigal. Then the family name dies. If the female children decide they are lesbian. Then the genetic line dies with them even though they may not continue the name. If the male children decide they are gay. Then both the family name and their genetic line dies with them. No matter the reason. The family branch dies. This is what happens when the entire family succumbs to sins. It is the final consequence of lives on the sinful path of death.
I know my place in the grand scheme of things. There is none lower than me when it comes to family acceptance or worth of relationship. I know this and have come to accept it. It is just what it is. The fate of what life has been dealt to me. I seem to have been dealt a hand of cards in which everyone can see and yet I remain all in. Two of hearts, Three of diamonds, Five of spades, seven of clubs and the next card is an nine of hearts. I remain all in. I know I'm gonna lose and yet. I'm ever present. My adoptive father like gambling. I highly suspect in ran odds of probabilities in his head. Yea, he was that smart.
 I know truths about many smart people. You know like the false wisdom of knowing what the correct answer is verbally, while still not doing what is right, actually. Then continue to sin while in the secrecy of your cell phones. Then when the consequences of life continually pound you into the ground. Then say they are just living the life of Job. While never acknowledging that Job was a righteous man. Righteous men do not commit adultery in their minds, in their heart are upon their physical bodies. Yep, that is three sins in one.
Go and read my personal note below. You wayward sons and daughters. You who have the responsibility to continue your family name and genetic lineage. Know that I call you murderers. This is not an accusations as more than it is what your actually doing to your families. All because some cultural rule says you can live however you want. This is yet another form of absolute freedom where the consequence is death of your own family. No family is perfect. There was no rule book on how to raise you. For living the lives as you have selfishly chosen. The death of your family is on your hands. There is always hope. There is always forgiveness and acceptance back into your own families. To reestablish your family name and continue on your family genealogy. For once they are gone. It is over. It is all on you. No matter what lies and deceptions you want to believe as your truths. They are still lies and deceptions. No one has the power to change lies into truths and truths into lies. All of that takes place within your own flavor of delusion. Even if your delusion was a learned behavior from the world in which you decided to believe over the traditions of your own family.
Just go back home to your own family. 
Seek forgiveness and offer forgiveness.
Return to the righteous and holy path as established by the Holy Bible.
Some people never had a home or even a family to return to. It is my intention to help prevent the extinction of your family name and your family genealogy. By hoping you choose to do what is right instead of what is correct for you.
Personal Note: I'm still a deeply flawed human being. Yea, I have an attitude problem. I'm a man of sin. That animalistic *feralness is still in me. I'm working on it.
I had a flash back the other day. I ran away from a foster home which was abusing/starving me. Of course I'm the one who became the bad criminal as I'm the one who broke the laws. It is just how it is in foster care. The foster child is always guilty. That is until the body is discovered then the foster parents are questioned. Anyway, I went home. Because, I deeply loved the adopted mother who tried to kill me many times and perpetually abused and tortured me. Which includes being knocked out hundreds of times. As an adult I see the insanity. But, I guess the child would rather die then to be without. So, I snuck into the house and my mom was passed out in the bed. So I ate food and drank a lot of coke. Then went outside to find friends. Until dad came home. They all were told that I was run over by a truck and killed. Something very plausible as I was nearly blind (20/900+, astigmatism) and I was well traveled on my bike. Friendships were never ever re-established. Not that I was a good person by any means. I was not a good person in any degree. That is how I obtained the nick name "TAX". Anyone who messed with me paid. That is a law of survival on the streets. The awful memories flood into my mind as I write this.
Parents who have kids in foster care. Seem to always place accusations and blame solely on the child. In list form. All to save themselves from social ridicule and social shame. But, the neighbors, friends and family tend to believe the parents and continue to reject the child. For being bad bad bad. Never questioning as to why. To question a person seems disrespectful.
Personal Note 2:
Like I said. I know my place. From always being on the outside looking inside. I had always hope my dad would have children after his evil wife died. So that way, both his name and his genetics would continue on. That never happened. I would have even surrendered my name and changed it to John Doe. Why I say that is not some deep dark psychology of absolute rejection. Well maybe. It is because I see the importance of family, family name, family honor, family respect, family cohesiveness, family acceptance, Family acknowledgement and family love. I still would if a cousin who has refused to have children wanted my name for his new baby.
*feralness is a word. I just invented it. Just right click word. Then select add to dictionary. So there. It means a feral person who has become semi civilized and then tends to react to certain psychological stimuli in a typical feral manor.
To avert all of the coming bad and sad prophecies. We each must decide to do the following everyday, every hour, every minute and every second.

To Love one another.

To live in peace with everyone.

To exist in harmony with all.

To Cherish all life.

To be obedient to the Laws of God.

To become righteous and holy by the accepting eyes of God only.
All without pride, ego, arrogance, supremacy or entitlements.
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Musings of an American Truck Driver