Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Lifes Death: (Unedited): 07 June 2010:

I have often wondered why some people often have so much death in their lives. Yet, they are the ones who must suffer through the memory of each one. Maybe, it is the school of "JOB" that they have to work through in this life. I do not think most of the people who have outlived family and friends ever realize it. Much like me. I always thought that death, misery and suffering surrounded me. I was the cause of it all. I even thought that I had the power to kill. Just by wishing it on a person. After all, My mother died two weeks after I called her every bad name That this once 13 year old could think of. Then I said; I hate you and I wish you were dead. My very last words. Then there was all of the foster kids that died in various ways or just disappeared. It took me a long long time. To realize that it was not me who was surrounded by death. It was my life that was experiencing all of the death, misery and suffering that was happening to other people around me. Even to the matter of me not dieing. I have come close to death many times and each time I survived in an logically unexplainable way. So, why must you and me continue to witness all of this death, misery and suffering? I think there are many reasons mostly related to you individually. I for myself have left those who are creators of drama of any kind far behind. Those of you who still are witnesses of death, misery and suffering. You to have control and power of your own life. You are the authors of the very next chapters of your own biography. Go and do what is positive for you in the here and now. Then discover what rewards will manifest for you several chapters later. There is and always be love, hope and compassion for those who seek it out. C.J.MacKechnie