Forgiving is a way for the abused person who endures daily from the aftermath of those tragic event(s).
Forgiving the bad person/people eases the spirit, mind and body.
Forgiveness is not conditional of the bad persons agreement or acceptance of the abused persons proclamation of the bad person being forgiven. as a matter of fact the bad person no longer matters.
The hurt, victimized or abused person does not have to search out the bad person to proclaim forgiveness of them.
However, the bad person should seek out those whom they have harmed in a formerly agreed upon manor. Then apologize and then repay. The hurt, victimized or abused person does not have to meet the bad person in person. Forgiveness can be relayed via message from the bad person to the good person. The bad person who seeks and is denied. Still can seek forgiveness through GOD/ALLAH/Grandfather. The bad person still needs to repay even to the degree that it hurts. I'm not talking about money. Although, that is a part of it, with interest. The bad person who is becoming a good person. Must repay until he/she no longer feels guilt. The key of when this happens is when they continue to do works of goodness and have joy from it. There will be no sense of repayment or debt to be paid.
The formerly bad person will have to endure hells memory of his/her actions until his death. Your memory is your prison. Unless, you escape from your memories via chemicals, drinks and drugs (Any mind altering substance), which includes foods. It matters not the legality. Then there maybe a spiritual cost. Which means your loving and compassionate heavenly Father becomes your JUDGE. Then it Will suck to be you.
NOTES: Doing good works because you feel that you have to. May have no bearing on your spiritual destiny. I do not speak for GOD or speak on how GOD will decide upon your own fate. That is solely GOD. Logically balancing out your debts with good works. Never works for you personally. Even though the good works that you do, are real good works and help people directly in real time. Doing works out of genuine love and compassion may work as judged and defined by GOD. Pretending to love and have compassion in this physical life, May become extra ammunition for God's judgement against you. You must have true genuine love and compassion as Jesus had.
You can spend 50 years dedicating your miserable life in the helping of others and you may be very successful. If there is no love within you or only deceptive love outward from you. It will mean nothing for you. Even though you had saved lives. But, in that final moment of your life. If you just give a simple cup of water to a thirsty person who needed it and in that moment you had genuine love, compassion and cared for that person. That cup of water will mean more for you than all of your previous 50 years as a do gooder. (Yes, Gooder is a word, if it is not in your dictionary then write it in.). Even if that person has no memory of you or the cup of water. My words does not mean you should not have to do 50 years of good works. You may be so hard headed and hard hearted that 50 years of doing good works leads to that moment of genuine love but, then again. You may be so hard hearted that you never love. I hope for you to love. Even if your moment of genuine loves expression ends your physical life horrifically. It still would be better for you. WOW. Long Note. C.J.MacKechnie