Gentle Flashback: (Unedited): 04 Dec 2014:

There is a reason why I write these. They are incredibly personal and after 30+ years. I'm still having them. Although not in the intensity of my younger adulthood. These are for my family. I do believe all of the bad, sad and ugly is important for the generations to come after me. Needs to know. This is not just a revelation. This is about wisdom as well. there is wisdom in these which needs to be sifted out and learned.
In my younger life. There has always been drinking, legal mind altering drugs and cigarettes  involved. Well, the adoptive parents were involved with all of that.
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A gentle flashback, but still a flash back. I had an opportunity of witnessing/observing some physically gifted young people who are in trouble with their grades. In order for them to play their sport. The school provides them with an after school study hall. With at least three adults to help out. One adult was the senior teacher of them all. Well, the kids were acting very immature. They had their technology watching some adult content and others typing away. There was no effective studying or tutoring going on. For one hour the teachers were struggling with the students and apparently this has been going on forever. Just amazing and for me the flash backs began.

Let me finish. I asked the senior teacher how many of her sports students would go to college for free if their grades were good enough. She said about 30-40 percent. That just hit me. The realization of the genuine cost to our young people who have become so immersed with culture and society that it robs them of their future. These young people do not care about the future let alone their own. Can you imagine being born with such a gift of having the probability of free college and then maybe the possibility of a professional career in a sport. Yet, these kids do not even see. The elder teacher then told me of their current star sports youth and how he started as a freshman. Then bad grades for two years and he couldn't play. Then in his senior year he started again. I was told that he probably could go to a junior college for two years and "Then Maybe", he will get recruited by a college team. But, with your high school history. Coaches may not be able to trust in his recruitment.
Then the story about his older brother. Who was also physically gifted and he never left the county. He volunteers for his sport as some kind of coach. The elder teacher said, Their parents always show up for the games already smelling of strong alcohol. What are the odds of this young man leaving the county. He probably won't.
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Can you imagine becoming so immersed into a memory. That you no longer realize which reality is most real. That is how my flash backs used to be. Now, they are just memories of how my life used to be.
Growing up I had zero opportunities for a fair education. Zero opportunities for anything athletic. This is because of my life with my adoptive family.
I was always told to go to bed at night. I guess this would be typical for many young people. To much energy was within me. To much distrust and to much fear. I locked myself into my room and turn on the small black and white TV. The bedroom window prepared for easy and fast escape. If and when my adoptive parents would began fighting as was usual.
Can you imagine a young child creating an escape plan. Not even being able to use the bathroom for fear up being caught outside of the his bedroom. Because, I would become her target of physical violence and her attention in that regard was unrelenting.  It was almost. If I was out of sight. I was out of her mind. My black WEBCO bike was along my wall. Ready for my escape. Batman was always ready.
The ear plug plugged into the TV and clothing under the door to block the light.  The distraction of the TV seemed to be the distraction I needed in order to ease my fears. Will I become involved in their fighting tonight and how long will I be beaten. Will I die. When I did leave out the window of my bedroom. I usually went to Shakey's Pizza, Burger King, The drive-in and behind the movie theater (Popcorn). This stops were for thrown out food and entertainment.
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If your a regular reader of any of my writings. You already know. I do not write very well. I did not have a fair opportunity for an education. Neither for sports. In which I think I would have done well in both. So when I see gifted youth just ignoring their gifts, ignoring their futures and ignoring any hopes and dreams. It just hurts to watch. Especially today, when there seems to be so much free money out there for those who were willing to do the work in High School. A young person today. Can effectively earn a deferred income for college. In the tune of up to $45 thousand per year of college scholarships, plus certain other perks.
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