In my younger days I identified with songs of persistent misery and sadness. Like this song by Credence Clearwater Revival https://youtu.be/lIPan-rEQJA.
It was safer for me to stay out of my house even after the bad kids had to be home at their predetermined time at night. Leaving me all alone within the sad rain and wet misery of my life.
A lot of times if not most of the time. We are responsible for the rains which comes tomorrow and all of the bad moons in all of our evenings. Sometimes if not most of the time when all that we know is bad and sad. We begin to expect it and actually want it. Because, for many there is that deep down fear if they didn't have all of the doom and gloom. Then there would be nothing. Something like that bad negative phrase in which I have myself stated many times in my old and dead self. If it were not for bad luck. I would not have any luck at all.
I have often told many people who have endured much. Many more than I and some on going drama and abuses. You just have to have that courage to walk away and leave it all behind. That is tough to do and is not the whole truth. You have to leave your old self behind as well. But, How can I do that? It is like some old guy saying you must be born again. To be born again your old self must die. Because, If your old self does not die or is left behind. Then all of those material things, those bad friends and awful family. Will just be recreated by you. So leave your old self behind and begin a new life with a new you. Far away from all of that bad and sad. As you are now a new person you must only put into your new self those things which are good and true. By adopting good and true things. Your life from hence forth will be one of meaning and purpose. The only person who can stop the rain is - you.
Then the rains shall always be beautiful and welcoming. Every moon shall enlighten your nights.
Bad Moon Rising
origin: Rejected and stopped flashback. This afternoon. Adopted mom.
From a different vantage point. I can see myself deep asleep under the tigers and lions covers. Laying on my back. My mother walks in quietly. Gently Sits upon the edge of my bed and places her hands around my neck. I can hear myself gasping. With only little movements of slight struggle. Then I awaken and speak mom after hearing how she loves me. I end this vision of torment and reject it wholly.
Added on: 22 March 2015:
Spiritual Gifts within each of us manifest differently and with great variety. For any of us to limit ourselves because some established religious authority claims much goofy-ness in your claims. Unless you get a direct Email from God himself or some neon lighted sign hanging from the stars above. Then I wouldn't listen to them nor should you take their pills. Many problems and much confusion arises when the gifts of the spirit manifest. Especially, if you no nothing about any such thing called the spiritual gifts. Then that person may begin to think what is wrong with me? Which of course is the wrong question. The real and more positive question is. What is going right with me? If you think that positive question sounds weird. Then your own psychology is revealed. But, It's OK. Knowing your thoughts and discovering the realization of your own emotions is a growth and developmental process. It's OK and so are you. Even if your gifts will never profit you in a world of absolute spiritual rejection. They will profit you as well as profit those to who you positively inspire to make that effort to look towards the divine light and to take those essential first brave steps of a new journey which has already begun. A Journey in which you have been both gifted and burdened. You gift shall help and inspire many with wisdom learned all along the journey. The burden of the gift(s) can be difficult. But, you were chosen for a decisive victory and not for any kind of failure. Find your strength and solace in the wisdom of truths all along this journey.
Added on 23 March 2015:
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Musings of an American Truck Driver