The apathetic thoughts and emotions you begin to allow a recognition of importance. Seems to be self protecting and self beneficial. But, as time goes on. That self protectionism cases you to become more and more alone over time. Separating you from friends and family. Then from the rest of the world. To the point that even to be amongst other people causes you to much stress and anxiety. You become a home body. Enjoying the anonymous privacy of the computer and Internet. Reality T.V. becomes more important than news, Religion, politics or even the loss of those things which are very important. Like your life even though you still exist.
Eventually you may become so home bound that you die alone. That is extreme. But very probable.
To care. To Love. to show compassion is apart of your humanity. To deny those aspects of you for self protectionism only De-evolves your whole being. You actually become less than what you were.
You can return to what you once were a fully intact human being. Quit your smoking, drinking and any mind altering drugs. You may have to ween yourself off of them. That is a beginning. Go outside and find something to care about. Like the family you have forgotten. Assuming that is possible. Call them and ask for help.
Do anything that is outside of yourself and does not benefit you.
May be included in future volumes of “Musings of an American Truck Driver”: