Monday, June 1, 2015

Effective Discipline: (Unedited): 29 May 2015:

Discipline is only effective when the wrong doing has been understood as wrong and wrong behavior has forever been corrected.
I know I'm the wrong person to be discussing discipline. But, maybe I'm the right person. I've never physically harmed my children. Not one time. I just could not get around or justify the harm which was done to me and to do it to these fragile little people. How can I hurt them just to teach them discipline? I just couldn't and neither has my wife. We used logic and the teaching of what is right and what is wrong. We taught why it is wrong to harm another person. We taught respect for others even when they may not respect themselves to much. This seems to have worked. 
Now hopefully, they will each pass this teaching down to their own children and every generation thereafter. 
Correcting bad behavior does not have to involve pain management. Pain management is what you do to animals. Maybe, not even to animals either. Even that sounds like animal cruelty. So why would you want to beat your own children? Are they just little animals or actual people who are more important than any animal? 
This logic and understanding is coming from a person who was beaten into unconsciousness many times by their adoptive mother and locked into small closets. She even tried to kill me on at least three occasions. 
Causing harm and fear into the eyes of my children is not something I ever want. As parents we are already all powerful giants to small children. Why would we want our children to ever fear us? I just can't see the love or compassion in that. It is for us to raise our children to supersede us in life in those areas of their own gifts and talents. Not to harbor any unrighteous fear or to know physical intimidation from their own parents. 
The logical explanation of a wrong doing at the level of the child's understanding is and can be effective. So as long as they do not see those same wrong doings within you. If you do not want your kids to smoke or drink. Then you shouldn't either.  If you don't want your boy children to disrespect your wife or any other female. Well you should not either. If you don't want your kids stealing or obtaining things which are questionable. You should not either. Lead by example by being the example. 
For me it has not been so easy as I had no one to teach me why a wrong is wrong in my youth. To get was OK so as long as you didn't get caught. A female was only for pleasure and were not actually worth knowing. You know the importance of body parts as opposed to the value of the whole person. Mind, body and soul. It is amazing how everything changes when you fall in love with your little girl. I immediately wanted her to always know that she is a whole person. I hope we have succeeded in that teaching. She is far more than just body parts. 
Yes, I'm still a deeply flawed human being who is evolving at a snails pace.
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