Being self absorbed with a mindset of being all important. This extreme inward thinking and feeling. Will prevent you from doing anything for anyone or anything without a needed wanted of "What's in it for me" attitude. I guess we all suffer this to a degree. Myself included. What's in it for me? Why must I write? No one really cares about wisdom anymore or even understanding. Only knowledge is good enough. Which puffs you up into all self importance. I wonder sometimes if I would have been that prideful and arrogant person who actually had a fair opportunity for an education. Gone off to college received a degree or three. I mean really. Look at my writing style. It is genuinely awful. But, it is representative of how far I was educated.
It is difficult to transcend years of abuse, torment. Especially, if you have never had any reasonable training in how to handle the psychological damage done to you. After all, I was adopted into it. I was chosen to be abused. Much like some lonely pet whose only constant companion is a chain around their scarred neck and fed every so often to prevent death.
That is the thing about abuse and torture. It never was about the one who is abused. It is always about the abuser. You are and were just the body present. If it weren't you then it would be someone else. This is the essential truth. You the one who was abused was never ever really that important to your abuser. Except for the fact of their confronted embarrassment or their own self absorbed pride which suddenly blames you the who was abused for everything and all of their problems. Really, This happens. Can you imagine being a child and being blamed for their parents alcoholism, drug addictions and cigarette smoking. Every single problem that the abusing parent has originated with their child. Wow, can you imagine a child with that much power and authority.
Many people do not understand the logic behind the abuse of children. To spend the majority of your entire childhood being abused and tortured. Yes, I use the word torture. Because years of abuse is sadistic torture. Then it is expected of that young person to just get over it and get a life. Today, we don't even expect our military to just get over their wars without many years of compassion and mercy. Yet, a child who becomes an adult is expected to just move on. Move on from where? These abused children have nothing positive to begin with. Abused Children have no positive support structure. Abused children are shunned by the community as some kind of reject or untrusted criminal who will rob them. Abused children have no positive family support system. So, where do abused children begin their lives. When the adult business world requires education and references just to gain entry. Abused children have none of that. So where do abused children begin? Typically, on the street. Stealing food just to eat. Thus, begins their life of in and out of jail. Statistically speaking.
Confronted Nine: (Unedited): 27 April 2015:
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Musings of an American Truck Driver