Arrogant Beauty: (Unedited): 2? April 2015:

The arrogant pride of a person. Will prevent him/her from ever knowing true beauty.

C.J.MacKechnie

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Being self absorbed with a mindset of being all important. This extreme inward thinking and feeling. Will prevent you from doing anything for anyone or anything without a needed wanted of "What's in it for me" attitude. I guess we all suffer this to a degree. Myself included. What's in it for me? Why must I write? No one really cares about wisdom anymore or even understanding. Only knowledge is good enough. Which puffs you up into all self importance. I wonder sometimes if I would have been that prideful and arrogant person who actually had a fair opportunity for an education. Gone off to college received a degree or three. I mean really. Look at my writing style. It is genuinely awful. But, it is representative of how far I was educated.

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Child Abuse Rant. It's April.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/preventing/preventionmonth/

But, my words right now are just reflective and the truth of me. I was born with a boat load of arrogant pride. For many years of my own life I was unable to see any beauty in anything. Maybe, I was still suffering and still trying to grasp why? why me? why them? why not?
It is difficult to transcend years of abuse, torment. Especially, if you have never had any reasonable training in how to handle the psychological damage done to you. After all, I was adopted into it. I was chosen to be abused. Much like some lonely pet whose only constant companion is a chain around their scarred neck and fed every so often to prevent death.
That is the thing about abuse and torture. It never was about the one who is abused. It is always about the abuser. You are and were just the body present. If it weren't you then it would be someone else. This is the essential truth. You the one who was abused was never ever really that important to your abuser. Except for the fact of their confronted embarrassment or their own self absorbed pride which suddenly blames you the who was abused for everything and all of their problems. Really, This happens. Can you imagine being a child and being blamed for their parents alcoholism, drug addictions and cigarette smoking. Every single problem that the abusing parent has originated with their child. Wow, can you imagine a child with that much power and authority.
Many people do not understand the logic behind the abuse of children. To spend the majority of your entire childhood being abused and tortured. Yes, I use the word torture. Because years of abuse is sadistic torture. Then it is expected of that young person to just get over it and get a life. Today, we don't even expect our military to just get over their wars without many years of compassion and mercy. Yet, a child who becomes an adult is expected to just move on. Move on from where? These abused children have nothing positive to begin with. Abused Children have no positive support structure. Abused children are shunned by the community as some kind of reject or untrusted criminal who will rob them. Abused children have no positive family support system. So, where do abused children begin their lives. When the adult business world requires education and references just to gain entry. Abused children have none of that. So where do abused children begin? Typically, on the street. Stealing food just to eat. Thus, begins their life of in and out of jail. Statistically speaking.
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Confronted Nine: (Unedited): 27 April 2015:

Baseball, I loved baseball. It is where you stand alone confronted by nine. Who only want to do everything possible to get you out. This is representative of life in general.

C.J.MacKechnie

Another fair opportunity in my life taken from me. I was never really a big strong person. But, I could hit the baseball into the holes and get on base. Then I could run. oh yes, I could run. I felt comfortable on third, playing softball as a young adult. How far would my dream had taken me. Maybe. High school or even college. Who knows. I still love the smell of the clay and the grass.
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https://youtu.be/29nIXG5KJYw
https://youtu.be/dJ33e9BK9aU

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Musings of an American Truck Driver 
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http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
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WW ME: Unedited: 28 Aug 2014:

Happiness can begin when you realize that all of the harsh abuses that you have endured have ceased. Thus, it's time to celebrate. You have won your own World War of ME.
  C.J.MacKechnie

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I know the abuses suffered and endured are awful. I do not and am not making light of any of it. But, after any great struggle in your life no matter the outcome. You should celebrate. This is healthy. Even if in your own mind at this moment in time you are at a loss as to why or even how you were victorious.
It is simple and yet so very difficult to explain. All of the abuses you have ever had to endure was never about you. It was always about the abuser. You were just the body present. If it was not you then it would have been someone else. Maybe, someone else who would not have been as strong and as determined to survive as you were.
You survived! Isn't that enough! Can't that be enough! Well it should be enough. Go forth and begin your life, this new life of your emergence from suffering, darkness and loneliness.

You survived and your survival is evidence of your abusers failure. Your successful life to come if you choose to make that effort without cessation. Will be those nails in your abusers coffin of absolute failure. Make sure there are many, many nails. Do so without a vengeful heart but out of your celebration that you become so empowered to be absolutely happy in life. Even if that happiness does not seem very possible in this moment. Because, every moment in this life is possible if you believe it to be. So, believe in your internal strength which have been proven worthy in your own fires of hell in which you have successfully endured. You are victorious. So celebrate and reject any and all other attempts of anyone to ever abuse you again. Because, the abuse which cometh shall all be the same but with different faces.

During the World Wars on this planet. Many peoples experienced much hardship and many kinds of hells. Yet, after each war. The signs of victory went up. The celebrations began. You the one who has been so greatly abused for so very long. Put out your signs of victory. No matter your immediate outcome. Because, either way all of the abuse will end via your own decision to end it all now.
Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. It is OK and acceptable to do so. Because, tomorrow begins the rebuilding of you and rebuild yourself in a most grand way. Your now worthy of this and deserving of it. Your rebuilding shall not be easy but is very necessary. See this essential truth , Know this essential truth and become the architect of a great new you without all of the pride which can become a part of your re-building.  
Never ever and do not ever put into the new building of you, any of your abuses suffered endured in order to remember them forever. Let them all die like the unknown criminals they all were. Happiness shall be found by you in the time of your happy awareness.
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Apparently there are 24 hours of Happy
this is just one hour.
http://youtu.be/7tiD1xKDmeo
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Time shall go by in your life of victory and over that time you may eve doubt your victory and battles which you seem you  did not actually win. The monsters which had been in your life and who have done many terrible things to you. Tried and tried to end the person of your most basic essence. They failed and failed miserably. Yes, and yes all of those terrible things that have been done to you, you were absolutely powerless against their onslaught. You must see the battles against you was only done through your body and mind to get to your spirit. Can you see this truth? This was spiritual warfare against your spiritual essence. Yet, your here reading this. Which means you have won your victory as hard and difficult as it had been.  So be Happy and make that journey to actually be happy. The only thing holding you back from now until then is --YOU.
So free yourself from the burden of your traumatic history and stand tall in the light and walk out of the hell of your own mind. There before you is your own gates of hell. Can you see where I am pointing. Those gates have been busted open by a brother long ago and all you have to do is walk through them under your own power. You may feel weak and you may be weary. You are very strong still and just walk out of this mental prison and never return. Now walk. Now run. Never look back and take nothing with you.
========================
At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed. 
========================
Musings of an American Truck Driver 
======================================
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
================================

Abused Abuser: (Unedited): 25 Dec 2013:

The abuser is solely responsible for all of the anger, ridicule and violence expressed unto the abused. The abused has never been at fault for causing a bad person to act violently to them in any way. C.J.MacKechnie
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 ===================================================
Musings of an American Truck Driver 
===================================================
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
====================================================