Monday, November 9, 2015

Dark Life: (Edited): 09 Nov 2015:

There is no joy or happiness in the life of darkness. There is however the perpetual state of loneliness and the feeling that no one really cares.
There is a lot in the life lived in darkness. You can do whatever you want and no one will ever really ever know who you are. But, they all will see what you are becoming and they will not care. You shall become as apathetic as they all are.  It is all your free choice of endless sin in the life of darkness.
So as long as you're a part of the party of loners, you will always be accepted. But, once you decide to stop living in darkness, they all will angrily hate you and accuse you of trying to be better than they are. But, if and when you ever return into the life of darkness, you will have to endure ridicule and then their apathetic acceptance.
Then when you die amongst them they will drink a toast to you, tell a few stories and maybe make a few jokes. Then they will all forget you were ever there as someone else sits in your seat.
There is a cost to all of this life of darkness. No one who is living a life in darkness even cares what the costs are or will be. This is the apathy taking a hold over your mind. So as long as you get what you want in that moment you want it, who cares what the future bill will be? Those who live in the darkness don't even want to hear about the light. They will even get angry if you come to them with how wonderful it is in the light. There can even be forgiveness from the light.
They know the truth. Those who freely choose to live in darkness know that if they reach out for the light, go forth into the light, all of their sins, crimes, mistakes and misdeeds shall be known and remembered. They will all know that they decided to live in the darkness in favor over their own family and the good friends who could not  go into the darkness to live their lives.
For those who already live and remain in darkness, many have already judged themselves and have been found deserving the solace of the final judgement to come from God.
These who freely choose to live and remain in darkness have already been judged by God. This is evidenced by their apathy, selfish desires and anger toward you who are good. For it is solely your goodness which reminds them just how bad and evil they were, are and have become.
Is there any hope for those who live in darkness? Sure there is and only God will know for certain.
For you who are in the light who have family members who have chosen to live and remain in darkness, continue to pray for them. Continue to love them. Continue to express compassion and mercy for them when needed, even if that mercy is in their own homelessness, hunger, medical care and burial.
For myself, it was with my adoptive father, his medical care and cremation/burial. His so-called girlfriend wanted to take care of him and use his money to fix a hot water heater, roof, car. Set up her children in a rented house. I denied all of it and banned her from any contact. After his bills were paid. There was no burial and I could only afford for him a cremation. At least he is with his own family by blood. After years and decades of total rejection of me and mine, I was the only one who he could trust in the end. At least his sister saw him take his last breath. Roll Tide.
There are many stories of people who have come out of the darkness and into the light. But those numbers are rare. Sometimes a person has to get so low and hit bottom without dying. Then for some reason, they either seek help or continue down the gutter's drain until they finally find death. In the end, no matter how it happens, you must find your comfort that you did not abandon them or walk away. It is always those who have chosen to live within the darkness who had walked away from you.
Note: Historically, I was not considered a good person by anyone who ever knew me. I brought embarrassment to my adopted father and to his family in many different ways. At least in his end. I could honor him.
Edited by: RLD.
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