Showing posts with label Conceived. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conceived. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Forced Conformity: (Unedited): 15 April 2015:

The really cool words escape me this morning. redo. later

Inspired by a quote from Nikola Tesla.

"Anti social behavior is a trait of intelligence in a world full of conformists." Nikola Tesla.

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 Being socially forced to conform to what everyone else is doing, thinking and believing. Will always take away from your ability to invent something new and create something never conceived of before within your own mind.
C.J.MacKechnie
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In my younger days I had the undesired opportunity to watch and feel some very intelligent men. You know those men who ARE far more superior to those who think their far more intelligent then anyone else. There is actually a big difference. The kind of people who think that Mensa is insulting.
Granted these men were incredibly smart and yet so incredibly stupid when it came to life in general. Most of them seemed to suffer addictions, divorce, disassociation from their own children. Most suffered from the same sins as everyone else. Most had a godless belief system and yet could not see the difference between being religious and righteous. With or without a god (God).
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Personal:
Even my adopted father who was one of those very intelligent men. He was raised deep southern Baptist and had a very protected life. He was very mischief as a youth. He would sneak away to play basketball with the coloreds, Because they were a greater challenge. He probably had to because his father had a physical disability. Despite being recognized later by a sitting president. He probably suffered much ridicule because of his father. So growing up with this kind of embarrassment. He didn't want anymore of any kind of embarrassment from anyone. So he married an insane woman and they together adopted a child who turned out to have a tested IQ of 70"me". He started smoking and drinking. He stopped believing in God and his life reflected it. With never ending physical and mental hardship. My dad suffered for about a decade with that woman.
I know what his future would have been like if he had just made the right decision early in life and attended that school which requires a senators signature. He would have never met her, His career would not have faltered and his end of life wouldn't have been alone for nearly 40 years. With two more insane women. Patterns are supposed to be easily seen by the super intelligent people. One of my earliest prophecies even before I knew what the word meant. Was a warning to my father about two more crazy women in his life to come. But, at that time he still believe I was dumb and stupid. I was just a surviving source of embarrassment for him to deal with. Someone who was not valued even in thoughts. Two more crazy women did enter his life. 
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I think he was discarded by the government. Even though those things happened to him.  My dad did die with his secrets. But, because of my inherent gifts. I did learn much from him. Not that he ever outwardly revealed anything.
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I still want my Snoopy Doll back. But classified is classified. Even a child's beloved soft stuffed animal with important names on it. It disappeared and most likely immediately destroyed. 
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Added on 03 Aug 2023: Some minor updates, clarifications and edits.
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At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed. 
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Musings of an American Truck Driver 
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http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Beautiful Emergence: (unedited): 18 Dec 2014:

Those persons who become entrapped by their own self conceived anxiety may never emerge from their darkened chrysalis as a beautiful butterfly. 
C.J.MacKechnie
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It seems to be easy for us human beings to become anxious over many many things.
The psychology of being cared of everything, any thing or many things. seem to be common amongst people. Everyday, I meet people who are scared of something or many somethings.
I met a young woman who actually turns her back to the world and resides within her own self created fantasies. To the degree that if she forgets to eat or drink it is just not a valid concern. Well, you can see where this can lead to. So, if someone who notices that she isn't eating or drinking and goes and gets it for her. She becomes offended but she still eats and drinks what is in front of her.
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Personal:
I myself still get very anxious if anyone pays any attention to me.  I do not even desire any sort of accolades of any sort. I still do not have birthdays or celebrate them. Just the fact that people would all of a sudden pay attention to me is just to overwhelming for me. There is a story behind it and much psychological conditioning as well. I'm pretty much over it, I think. But, I have conditioned those around me to not to celebrate my day of birth and I've said nothing about it. Which is also a possible sign that I still do not desire the attention. But, I can go to any other sort of party and it won't bother me. So as long as I'm useful or along the perimeter. I think a big part of that is being a very sensitive empath. If to many people are focused upon me. Then it's like sitting directly in front of very large concert speakers at a high volume.

Physical contact used to be a very real cause of anxiety for a number of reasons. Physical control which equates to eminent physical danger. This is directly related to my adoptive mother who beat me on a regular basis. The arm grab. Which led to the beatings if I could not escape. Did she already have a belt or not? A belt meant a long time. The hand on the head meant knocked out quick. If she was indecisive, then escape was possible.
Physical contact is also difficult for me in another way. The wind is the wind of oneness to the normal person. When the wind blows upon you, you feel one wind. When the wind blows upon my skin. I feel every single hair follicle reacting to the wind or even the temperature differences of sun light and shadow. So one grab on the arm was essentially a thousand grabs all at once. Loose clothing feels traumatic to me.

Sounds have also caused me anxiety. For in a room full of people. I could hear many different conversations at once and keep up with them. I could also feel many more emotions. A walk in the mall can cause me more anxiety then lets say a college game with 80,000 people. The 80,000 people are typically of one mind and emotion. The people in the mall can have a variety of mindsets and emotions. So crowds are not something i prefer encounter. Though now I am better at it and can adapt to crowds much better now. Which is based solely on the awareness and development of my gifts. Many young people have gifts and know not they have them. Which becomes curses to them.
I also had a gift for music. To the degree that I could hear in between the notes and individual instruments. Which was never realized.

I had much anxiety as a child. Being very small. I tended to stay away from any person or groups.

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Each of us is a beautiful butterfly. Even before we enter into the Chrysalis as a fat caterpillar. That which becomes beautiful must have already been beautiful to begin with. That which is ugly in mind, in heart and in spirit. May in fact be physically beautiful. But, this will only happen for a short while. Until the ugly mind, ugly heart and ugly spirit completes the transformation into total ugliness. So always be on your guard and reject anything which is ugly while accepting all that is beautiful. You will surely become what you take into you.

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At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed.  
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  “Musings of an American Truck Driver”:
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
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