Bad Memory: Their Abuse: (Unedited): 21 Sept 2015:

Bad things happen and this sadness can inflict our souls to the point where we continually remain within the perpetual memory of those bad things. Thus, we may never grow or evolve from them.

C.J.MacKechnie

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 A bad and terrible thing has happened. maybe, this bad and terrible has happened to you. Maybe there is an infinite number of bad and terrible things which has happened to you. What do you do? Where do you go from here? How do you resolve them?
What if you think your at fault? Well are you?
It is difficult to live the life you have had. But, the longer you choose to remain within those bad and sad memories of the past. Also, means that the joy and happiness you so desperately want and need will also not be possible or just fleeting. So how can you obtain joy and happiness after have suffered through years or decades of abuse and torture? Well, are you reading this? I cannot say that I know your pain and what you have gone through. But, I do know this. If you are free of the abuse and tortures. Then. You have been victorious and your abusers and torturers have lost and failed in their miserable actions of you.
I have spent decades trying to figure out why? There is a reason why the answers are not easy to reason. Because, there isn't any reason why anyone should be abused or tortured. If you were abused and tortured. Then none of it was ever your fault. You were just the body present. That is all. You could have been someone else and they would have been the ones who endured all that you have had to. Except they may have been the ones who died.
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Their Abuse: (Unedited): 21 Sept 2015:

Your abuse and torture was never meant to be yours. It was always theirs.

C.J.MacKechnie

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A gift is not something you ever have to accept. You can be nice and friendly. But, you don't have to accept all gifts given to you. Just like the gifts of abuse and torture. You can refuse to accept these gifts from black hearts of wrath and hate. Just refuse them and deny their acceptance into your being.  You do not ever have to accept any ugly memory into the home of your soul. 
By you making your abuses and tortures your own. You are accepting of those unwanted and unasked for actions done to you. All that has ever been done to you. Was always because of those who had done those bad and terrible things to you. You were not ever at fault. Nor were you ever deserving of those bad and terrible things done to you. 
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Those persons who had done those bad and sad things to you. Would not have had any remorse or guilt if you had died. They would have felt great fear of getting into trouble. There is a distinction. maybe, they would have felt bad that you died. Because, now they have no one to endure their own internal wrath and hatred of life. In which your represented the hope of a good life. You still do. But, now for yourself and for the family you can now create without any abuse or tortures to be endured.
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How is it again? That you are victorious when you don't feel victorious. It is always like that after any great battle. The ugliness still fresh in your mind. But, right now is that key time in your life. You do not need or you should not want to blame yourself or to even own those memories. You are not to blame. no matter how many thousands of time you were made to be the blame. By keeping and holding onto those memories will block the creation of you choosing to make good and peaceful memories full of love, happiness and joy. 
So, put all of your bad and sad memories into the trash and put the trash to the curb. Just think about that for a moment. All that we have ever used is placed into the trash and remembered no more. Do you still think about the trash you threw away? ever?
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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+5%3A17&version=KJV
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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ezekiel+2&version=NASB
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Musings of an American Truck Driver 
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Empty Vessels of Nothingness: (Unedited): 19 March 2015:

Once you refuse to ever be the victim. You will begin to see deeply into the souls of your abusers and know them to be empty vessels of nothingness. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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Think about it. How can you ever have a meaningful relationship with those family members who had done your wrong? If you want to stay with your bad family. Then you will have to become just like them or worse become their forever abuse toy.  If you cannot find your courage and remain with your awful family. Then you will lose yourself and any hopes you may have ever had. Your dreams for a better life will become like the mid afternoon fog. What once was has become no more.
It is really tough to leave all that you know and to go on your own with no support system. Think about this. You never had a support system. People who support you do not belittle you, abuse you or even torture you.
So you must be courageous and just leave them all. Do not ever return. No Christmas cards either. No return addresses. No shared email and no phone calls.
In this life. Start with the building of your foundation. This is logical and wise. Your foundation must begin with your education. Your education is crucial for life's advancements. Then continue your education. These are your solid stepping stones in which you can build the life you decide for yourself.
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Think about all of those things in which your bad family has taught to you. You can think negatively about them all or you can think how they have taught you "How to not live your life" and "How to not raise children".  This is positive and helpful. Than the contrary.
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Good people seem to most of the time do good things. Which will seem very alien to you. Even the good persons humor may just not be funny to you. But, Good people tend to support one another and not rip apart each other. Good people are not entertained by you getting harmed in any way. You can find the good people in those good places. Again, those good places may be places you have never been to. All of that goodness may be just odd, weird and very weird. But, do not let that scare you off. Learn how to become a good person. If you really no longer desire to be like your awful family. 
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At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed. 
========================
Musings of an American Truck Driver 
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Instant Abuse: Think freedom: (Unedited): 19 March 2015:

Once you reveal the lies and the victimization of you. It will be nearly instantaneous when your abusers begin to accuse you with violent intentions. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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Your abusers will bring out all of their big psychological guns. Everything shall be your fault. You will be the only guilty party for all of the problems your family has. They will bring up all of your mistakes, errors and troubles. They will blame you for everything. After, They have always declared to you. It's all your fault.
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Be strong. Be brave. Be courageous.
Leave your bad awful family behind and begin your definition of what a life is really like. Choose to live your life without all of that bad and sad of your own childhood. Remember the alcohol? Drink none of it. Remember the drugs? Do none of it. Remember the sinful life? Reject it all. Remember the violence? Be at peace always. Remember the tobacco? Smoke nothing. Remember the medications? Take nothing.
To rise above your circumstance. Mean you must leave it all behind. Completely. No one take their trash into their new house. Same thing. To better yourself means to actually better yourself. Go and get that education and then some more.
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 Think freedom: (Unedited): 19 March 2015:

Your freedom shall always be tied to your education and to remain free will be always tied to your ability to reasonably think for yourself.

C.J.MacKechnie

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09 Feb 2021

Even the educated slave may not be able to reasonably think for themselves. While the uneducated who can think for themselves can remain free. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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You can see this today in communist societies and in those nations led by a dictator's. Those who follow those regimes are paid and given many benefits to do what they do. Even kill their own people. Which is their cost or price to live and to raise their own families in the familiar blood that they shed. The abuses and tortures that they cause. 

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Having the Wisdom of knowing that you are reasonably thinking for yourself.
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At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed. 
===================
Musings of an American Truck Driver 
======================================
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
========================================