First Spirit: (Unedited): 07 March 2015:

Yesterday, I felt the passing of my adopted Aunt DBW. She is about 347+ miles away.

My Aunt DBW suffered a long time with a muscular type of disease. She wrote books and  was always a gentle spirit of a genuine southern lady. Always wanting to do for others as she was able.
During the time of passing of my adopted father. There were many things in which I was highly sensitive to. Such as the Angels who were purposely trying to hide much of themselves from me in her home. They were there for her.  My Aunt DBW was also the first person whom I was able to actually see her spirit fully revealed. I also knew that it was her spirit which was keeping her alive and as active as possible. Her spirit emitted an internalized green color.

As of yesterday afternoon. She was freed of her sick body and is now alive more than ever. No rest in peace for this spirit and I am very certain her spirit is no longer a green color.
==============================
I would have very much liked to have spent more time with my adopted aunt and uncle. The wisdom I missed out on because of my own ego and arrogance. But, It seemed it was not to be. In my younger days I was raised to be bad and I was. I was very disrespectful and very selfish. I could have learned much about life from the both of them as they were the only ones who were welcoming.
----------------------------------------------
The faults and failures that we all have made in our lives can be forgiven and lives within the family circle can begin again. You the reader do not have to be outside of the family. You can become re-acquainted and accepted with your family once again. Just go and apologize. Just change your life and free yourself from doing wrong ever again. Especially if the legal sins of the world is what has taken you away from your genetic family. How can you be happy when you are separated from the family whom loved you. Were all human and we all have our own faults and failures. We all have our own sins and sin history. No one was given a book on how to raise "you". The "you" means to raise only "you". Because raising you is not the same as raising any other child. You had your own oddities and natural gifts and those hidden gifts which needed to be discovered and trained up. Yes, I know to many "Ands". I sort of did that on purpose for my Aunt DBW.
Everyone missed out on something in their own lives and in their own childhoods. It is easy to play the blame game and accuse your own parents of being awful in the raising of you. Most parents do the best they could. That is what you should see in your own parents. This is the positive side of thinking and feeling as opposed to the negative side of thinking and feeling. One feels good and the other feels bad. How do you want to feel in your life about your life? You do have the freedom to feel happy or sad.
--------------------------------
You who are physically alive and still spiritually asleep. Seek out what I call the living funeral. Go forth to your still living relatives and friends. Seek out forgiveness and offer forgiveness where appropriate.
By easing the minds and spirits of your loved ones or even former loved ones. You ease their woes in their last times of life. You at the same time ease your own guilt's for the remainder of your own days in this life. You also take away from your mind. Those typical statements at any wake where the loved one has already passed. You know, "I should have done more", "I should have been there", I should have said those important words", "I could have" or "I would have if I had known". If you go forth with a living funeral then you would have been in the loop when their passing had begun and you would have had that opportunity.
The living funeral also may hasten the passing of your loved one. Thus, easing their suffering when they know all of the words were said. All of the actions in life had been taken. Going to sleep for that last time is satisfactory. This makes for a beautiful passing when all of the loved ones are present expressing love instead of apathy or hatred or expectant gifts from the will.
------------------------------------------------
Everyday before you depart from your loved ones on any journey. No more the distance or the time away. You should always have a living funeral. So are you thinking how awful that would be? The living funeral evolves into expressions of love, gratitude and expectancy for life to continue, to move forward. Can you see how this works. Then if something happens. There wont be any regrets. The absence of regrets will be peace of mind, peace of heart and peace of spirit.
============================
At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed. 
========================
=======================================
Musings of an American Truck Driver 
======================================
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
========================================

Celebration Blocks: (Unedited): 27 Dec 2014:

Those fun celebrations of lies and deceptions of childhood. Becomes those stumbling blocks into believing those things which are most true. 

C.J.MacKechnie

==============================
What are those things in which children grow up into believing are truths only to discover they all were lies? Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Jack Frost, Bogey man, Sandman and many many more. These are all lies and deceptions in which kids are convinced through deceptive actions perpetuated by their own parents. Yes, It is the parents and all of the media of entertainment which continues the lies and deceptions onto every generation.
There is so much lies and deceptions in the world today. Even the adult versions of lies and deceptions. In which virtually every adult and parent believes them to be truths. These are not their fault in the spreading of lies and deceptions. Such as the separation and division of the races of humanity. For one.
What happens is when you believe so many lies as truths. When your confronted with an absolute truth you almost automatically believe it as a lie. Which is by years and decades of psychological conditioning on what to believe and how to think. All of our minds have become so entrapped. That even those who are brilliant in all things of their chosen religion. Have they themselves become so conditioned to believe that all of the bad and sad prophecies must happen and it is necessary for all of us to become expectant of them. This is all wrong.
 Bad and sad Prophecies from all of those prophets of doom and gloom are for warning purposes only. In which upon hearing we utilize our wisdom, knowledge and understanding to either prevent and or mitigate the now foreseen event(s). The wise words of hopeful possibilities spoken by any mentor are to be those things we each are to endeavor with continuous effort. Until, all of those wishes and dreams we have ever had are manifested into our individual realities.
This is how they are supposed to work.
I for one do not want GOD or Jesus  or any of the righteous angel to return when we have screwed up so much as a singular race of humans. Do you really want an angry GOD,  an angry Messiah or angry righteous Angels to return in order to exact the judgement of discipline upon us all. Because, this is what is in store for us all. Which has all been prophesied by many religions, cultures and traditions. 

But, of course no one is gonna believe what I have written. They are all to busy living their lives how they want. Those who know the Holy Books the most are very busy causing and effecting the return of God, The Messiah and of the Righteous Angels. Celebrating and rejoicing the return of a very angry God who is going to allow our human collective extinction. And it is going to be all of our fault. We had all of the warnings. We all know the presence of the fallen angels and their influence in the entire world systems. We are deserving of this final discipline.
The headlines of the Divine Newspaper of GOD shall read. Above the fold.

"Humans celebrate and rejoice all the way to Extinction"

==========================
Be sure you are clear within your own mind and spirit what is true and righteous. The only way to do that is to spend quiet time with GOD. In which He shall reveal all to you. In accordance to your level of ability. To revel to anyone above and beyond their abilities is harmful. God does not harm the righteous soul.
 ========================
==============================
At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed.  
============================== 

========================
  “Musings of an American Truck Driver”:
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
===================

Harsh Life: (Edited): 25 Sept 2014:

The harshness of life is the best test which measures what kind of human being you truly are and have been.  

C.J.MacKechnie

===============
 There is always something to learn about yourself. What have you done in your life? What are you doing now? It is all very important and defines the kind of human being you are today.
It seems the easiness of life breeds weakness and yet at the same time the harshness of life seems to destroy a person. What is in common with those people who seem to have excelled in whichever life has been presented to them? A foster kid who knew not acceptance or love goes on to be a member of an NFL super bowl team. A rich kid has the physical talent of a sport, and yet has no heart for it. A youthful foreigner who knows first hand the life costs of not having an educational opportunity digs deeply into the books of learning. Another youthful foreigner brings with him all of the entrapments of an impossible life to live in a free country and yet continues on as a slave in life.
What does it mean for you and the efforts you have made in this life or have not made? Your life is your fault. Ahhh but, what about my bad and sad childhood? It was really bad and sad and some very unmentionable things were done to me repeatedly. For years this happened and maybe for most of your 18 years of being a child. You have experienced and witnessed some very bad things. What do you do now? How do you go on now? What can you do now? Can you do anything?

!!!Fight!!!

Fight for yourself. Fight for your sanity. Fight for your right to live a decent life. You have all of the tools you need, NOW FIGHT and continue to fight even if there are more setbacks. The devil has already tried to end you, when you were at your most helpless and most innocent. Now you're aware and that, my friend, can be enough to defeat the enemy, any enemy no matter how big and tall they are, no matter how many they may be.
So you survived a child's hell. It was not pretty or pleasant. What did you learn from it? Anything positive? Anything positively revealing about yourself? Maybe that you could still be a responsible mother to your own awful mother? Can you see the strength you had, even through all of your weakness and innocence? Can you see through the fog of anger, hatred and apathy toward everyone who should have saved you? You still must resolve these issues within you in order for you to have a healthy life, a life of genuine well-being and happiness. Happiness is very possible for those who have been tortured and abused for long periods of time. You just have to forgive and to move on. You just have to understand that you were just the present body. That if it were not for your presence, they would have abused and tortured another. All of the abuses and tortures you have endured were never ever about you in any way. It was and always will be about them. I learned this lesson because I had to be adopted into it. If they had gone elsewhere and then adopted, then it would have been someone else and not me. I was just the selected body for them to abuse and to torture. It is that simple. That one realization has helped me greatly.
===========
The movie Sucker Punch is one of those movies which I liked and hated.  You do have to get over the scantily clad women in order to see the deeper meaning of this movie, which is ugly and abusive. That deep meaning of empowerment and self resolve. What are you willing to do for your freedom? Can you love another in a healthy way as to sacrifice yourself? Is that sacrifice just another definition of freedom?
If you cannot see beyond the physicality of the women then do not watch it. Really. I am not interested in causing cheap and disgraceful thrills in anyone. Life can be ugly and has been for me. Life is and has been much uglier to many of my foster brothers and sisters than I could have ever survived.
This movie is about rape from a step-father. Accidental murder. Abandonment. Prostitution as displayed as cleanly as possible. Disillusions and fantasy. Mental illness. Many different kinds of abuses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sucker_Punch_%282011_film%29
--Samurai Fight Scene------linked fixed 12 June 2017----
https://youtu.be/rD6HagsWk8A
====================
Added on 15 May 2016: TobyMac
https://youtu.be/MX1G71WK-FA
------------------
It is tough to have all of those dark and torturous memories freely floating at the forefront of your thinking. Hopefully the abusers and those who had tortured you are out of your life. I hope you never return to them unless some very clear and profound changes occur within each of them.
But what of you? How will you go forward into the unknown, not being able to trust? You just have to soldier onward. You have to crush and destroy all of the negativity within you. Yes, it is possible. Yes, you can have a normal life. You just have to realize that all of the negativity, all of the abuses, all of your sufferings were not created by you or caused by you. All of those bad and sad memories were given to you by evil people who had done you a great wrong. This is why you should let all of that go. None of that bad stuff originated from you. It was all outside of you, all without your permission. So now by your own permission tell all of those bad and sad memories that they belong to someone else and they will no longer have power over you any more. Empower yourself to go and get your college education, to stop using all mind-altering intoxicants, to begin to create new and wonderful memories that you want to have within your own mind.
Your memories are your own and of your own creation.
Just watching a hundred sunsets and a hundred sunrises will offset some bad and sad memories.
Taking a hundred walks in parks will offset some of the bad and sad memories.
Watching a hundred funny movies will offset some of the bad and sad memories.
Learning something new and developing the new skill will offset some of the bad and sad memories.
Volunteering to be of service to others will offset some of the bad and sad memories.
Continuing your education will offset some of the bad and sad memories.
These are just the beginnings to a new you and they will only cover over your bad and sad memories. The final decision is all within you. If you assign those bad and sad memories importance or give them control over your life, then they shall. It will not matter how many good and happy memories you create if you consider the good to have a low value within you. You have to decide for yourself. No one can do it for you. You have to face your internal demons and conquer them. All of them. If you're reading this and you are safe now, then move forward as a good soldier. Fight for yourself, your sanity and your life. You are and have always been worth it, no matter the untold thousands of times those evil people whom you loved told you awful and hurtful things. Always remember every success you have is a failure to them who did you wrong. Seek no revenge even though all of your successes shall be nails within their own coffins. For they could not conquer you.
===================
Added on 22 April 2015: http://www.cacofony.com/
http://www.cacofony.com/what-does-it-mean-for-you-and-the-efforts-you-have-made-in-this-life-or-have-not-made
This work has been published on cacofony.com
Thank You guys very much.
===================
Edited on 12 June 2017:
========================
At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed.
============
Musings of an American Truck Driver 
=================
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0985310308
http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
==================

True Responsibility: (Unedited): 24 march 2008:

Once you realize and accept that the quality of your childhood is not your fault. The quality of your life today and tomorrow is your fault.
C.J. MacKechnie

=====================
I got caught up in all of that. Blaming everyone and everything for the misery of my life. Then it occurred to me. What now? and whats next? And who is exactly responsible for my failures in life today and tomorrow? The hard answer was ME?
So, You had been abused and tortured in your childhood and here you are now. You are now safe and free of the abuse and torture from your very own flesh and blood family. What now? Continue to be angry? Continue to hate? Continue to not care for anyone or anything? To do these things means your awful and terrible parents was right about you and they win. Don't let them be right and don't let them win. But, Then again it isn't about winning is it? Its about you right now. Its about your future that you can have. A good future worth living. A good life worth having. You survived the worst and may have almost been killed by them numerous times. This is the evidence that you are stronger than they ever were. So, Stop being stupid. Be your own hero and save yourself. Suck it up and stand firm. Go forth and achieve your dreams. Yes, it is OK to have your own dreams now. Build with your own hands the foundation of the education needed to build your dreams. To do allow the thinking of being years or decades behind your age group to hinder you, to stop you or to prevent you from achieving.
I guarantee when you begin to move forward slowly people will notice that your moving and take minimal notice. But, when you get up to speed like a massive freight train. People will move out of your way and maybe even hop aboard for your wonderful ride to come.
==============