Deceiving Creators: (Unedited): 19 Aug 2014:

Creators of war hide close enough to the veils of peace to deceive many.

Creators of hate hide close enough to the veils of love to deceive many.

Creators of chaos hide close enough to the veils of harmony to deceive many. 

Creators of lies hide close to the veils of truth to deceive many. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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The truth is.
There can never be peace when your in conflict of any kind and in any way.
There can never be love when you hate anyone and anything, no matter who or what it is.
There can never be harmony when your life is full of chaos everywhere even through cause and effect.
The lies and deceptions you believe as truths can never be discovered if you know not to look.
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Tolerant Unification: (Unedited): 10 Nov 2013:

Being tolerant of other peoples lifestyles. Will not perpetuate any kind of agreed upon unification. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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Some belief systems cannot exist with some others or with any other. Just because you have an agreed upon unification based on a common goal or a common enemy. Does not and will not mean there will be any permanence or even peace. 
The chaos will begin for the weaker and poorly trained evil doers. The greater evil of them will thirst for more like a great beast who smells and feels it's next prey. The greater evil must always seek out the next.

There are lifestyles and belief systems which are not conducive to life or even a life worth living. Those lifestyles and belief systems are purely against GOD will and laws for us to live by. So, that we all may perpetuate life equally everywhere in the heavens.
That which is from GOD must agree with this basic formula.
Life = Love + Peace + Harmony+ Law

That which is from evil will mimic the above formula while mixing in elements of the formula for life. the end result will still be the formula for death. The formula for death is:

Death = Hate + War + Chaos + Lawlessness

 Any person, group, religion, country who teaches that you should Hate, war and to cause chaos and death is not of the GOD in which you think you believe. It matters not what they point to in you holy documents. If what they say is in agreement with the formula for life in it's entirety. Then they are speaking for GOD. If what they say is in agreement with the formula for death, even if they mix in the elements of the formula for life. Then they are evil. It is really that simple. Just think about it and think about the words of your chosen leader. Which formula dose he speak from? Even if you think he speaks from the formula of life and he adds elements of hate and going off to war. Then he/she has transformed that formula of life into a formula of death. Think about this in relation to your cultural leaders, religious leaders and political leaders. If the purity of their message is questionable, then they are self serving at the expense of you and their other followers. Think about that the next time you point a gun at your brother who has been taught to you to be your enemy.

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A righteous and holy people cannot be tolerant and accepting of any belief system or chosen lifestyle and still maintain any harmony or peace. It doesn't matter how much you love them. The end result from their contamination is their disease of progressive-ism. Which by your acceptance and by your tolerance. Will cause your young people to stray away from a righteous and holy path. To leave that righteous and holy path will first lead to the extinction of their family name. Then the disease continues on until all is dead. All is dead may take several generations for death to happen. But, it will. 

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Musings of an American Truck Driver 

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Disciplined Condition: (Unedited): 21 Oct 2013:

A disciplined tongue may only hide the rotten condition of ones heart and the lies contained within their mind.  

C.J.MacKechnie

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The contrary of this is 

A disciplined tongue conceals the true condition of ones heart and the truths contained within their mind. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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The condition of your heart is of supreme importance to you. Express love, compassion and mercy to all of your human brothers and sisters. All humans no matter where they are from or whom they were born are your brothers and sisters. Even if their position in life is far superior to you or far less. All are of your relation.

Exercise intense logical questioning of all things you think and believe you know as truth. Through prayer and meditation. Respectfully question all things and quietly wait for revealed truths. When the truths come and they do for those who believe. If there is a contradiction between what you have been taught as truths from your worlds rulers and what has been revealed to you through prayers and meditations. Continue to Strive for Love, Peace, Harmony and Life within you. Continue to reject all manor of Hate, War, Chaos and Death. 
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The contrary of this is.
It would be difficult to tell which person is either. But, through their outward actions. The truth is seen. The history of their actions is the evidence of the condition of their heart. So it is with everyone. A persons whole actions of their life or their in action. Is the proof on who they are at heart.

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World Creation: Passive Participants: Unaware Sheep: Truth Revelation: (Unedited): 17 Oct 2013:

It is more important to create the world around you, then it is just to observe the world around you. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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There are people right now actively creating good worlds and evil worlds. The kind of world you passively observe may even be directed by other peoples (Medias) intentions and desires for you. You may not even be in control of what it is that you observe. If you do not like the world you see. Then actively change it. Hopefully you will choose to actively alter the world which surrounds you into something which is more positive and good.

A world which loves one another. 

A world which lives in peace. 

A world which exists in harmony.

Isn't that a much better world than one which is created by the ruling class and who call themselves leaders of their specific interest groups. All that they create is hate, war and chaos. Look at the world as it is now and tell me, my comments are not factual.
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Reject the medias news by just turning it off. Reject the whole of the entertainment community. Reject all which promotes wrongful living. Reject all which hints that there is no sin which can be done. Reject the notion that if it is right for you then it is right and a right. Wrongful living is still wrong even if the politics, cultures, religions and governments proclaims it's lies and deceptions as a truth. 
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Passive Participants: (Unedited): 17 Oct 2013:

Passive participants in life are the sheep to be steered in the direction of their owners decision. Which is usually to better feeding grounds and then onto slaughter. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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Unaware Sheep:  (Unedited): 17 Oct 2013:

It is easier to steer the unaware fat and happy sheep to slaughter, then it is just to make them understand where it is they are going.
C.J.MacKechnie

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Truth Revelation: (Unedited): 17 Oct 2013: 

Revelation of truth empowers the soul into necessary action. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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Musings of an American Truck Driver 

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Logical Emotions Notes: (Unedited): 20 Aug 2013:

Beginning new logical thought process. New logical math process.
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Wisdom, Knowledge and understanding you strive for can be used three ways. Actively For good and for evil, Inaction for good and for evil, Spiritual Good and evil.
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There is a logical math process of emotion. Love, Peace, harmony equals life. The mathematical arrangement is unknown to me and this is the best way I can formulate it.
There is also a contrary logical math process of emotion. Hate, War, Chaos equals Death.

Both formulas are absolute certainty's when they are in within their absolute outward expression.

There are degrees of both in which time becomes a factor. The greater the degree the less time remains. The lesser the degree the greater time remains. Either way a predictive conclusion results. Both formulas can be mixed with one another. Which creates a vast number of probabilities in which life and death will result. The ultimate degree of one set of factors over the other will dominate wholly. Life or Death.

The degree of life or death can be experienced a variety of ways.  A single person, a single family unit, A family name, A families gene pool, An entire family grouping, An entire tribe or clan, An entire city, An entire state or region, An entire country, An entire continent, The whole planet and etc.

There can be survivors or even a remnant of survivors when a cataclysmic event occurs.  It matters not if it is natural, man-made, outside influence, or a combination of all. All of it can be applied mathematically.

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The new stuff.
The selfish ego centric nature of a man who is governed by dominance, competition, hate and other commonly considered negative emotions. Will actively show a level of apathy for their human brothers and sisters.
Wisdom, knowledge and understanding seems to magnify Hate, War, Chaos and death within a selfish ego centric soul. All of those energies within one being makes an incredible physical expression of powers influence.
 There is an associated math formula with this that I'm blind to.

A pure person who is governed by love, peace, harmony and life will use the wisdom, knowledge and understanding outwardly and not in it's accumulation for the thirst for more and more power. On the surface, it only appears the innocent man has zero power. This is only where the illusion lies and deceives those who are truly worldly in an unnatural way. 
 The power is not centralized within one individual. The good individual divides the power to all who has the heart for fundamental change into the light of goodness.

 The good person shares freely all of the power. This is why truly good people are seen as weak.
 While the evil person keeps for themselves all of the power and shares nothing with no one. This is why they are seen as very powerful individuals.
The truth is contrary to appearance. The evil person is the weakest of all. While the good person is the strongest of all. It is a relationship to what is truly important. The natural or the unnatural. This is where the truth is.

Do you want to live or die? Then your actions will follow one of two formulas.
Life= Love, Peace, Harmony, Truth
Death= Hate, War, Chaos, Lies

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Choose This:

Love one another.

Live in Peace.

Exist in Harmony.

So that all may experience a life worth living.

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Life Journey: (Unedited): 19 July 2013:

Those whose life pursuits is on the path of death. Will vehemently attack those who embrace the journey of life. 

 C.J.MacKechnie

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Those persons who choose wrong always seems to angrily attack those who remind them of those wrong choices.  This also includes those who just happened to make a right choice but still are not convicted to the right path. They to will attack those who have chosen wrong with equal anger and hatred. So if you have chosen the religion of love and you act in hate. You are the problem and not the religion. If you have chosen the religion of peace and act out with physical anger. Then you are the problem and not the religion. If you have chosen the religion of harmony and have selected the chaotic path. Then it is you who are the problem and not the religion. The religion is supposed to be the pathway to holiness. Holiness embraces the aspects of love, peace, harmony and life.

==================================================
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Accepted Religion: (Unedited): 13 June 2013:

The religion which gives you acceptance for continuing and doing wrong is not a place where love, peace and harmony flourishes. The end result of continuing within this selected religion is a diminished life. C.J.MacKechnie

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Where is the love when the teachings give you power to reject and hate others?
Where is the harmony in life when the teachings gives you fortitude to live your sinful life?
Where is the peace when you become so angered you wish for your future opportunity for battle?
Where is the life when you walk in your own life full of anger, hatred and choose violence.
Your life becomes wasted and devoid of love, beauty, kindness and justice. Absent of the joy of having a family to raise.

Thus who teach and preach injustice are they themselves stealing your life potential away from you. By using your own passion against you. Causing you to become hateful and angry. These teachers, preachers and cultural leaders want you to willingly sacrifice yourself for their selfish profiting. It's all about the money. Your money that you freely give to them. In which that money goes no where that doesn't profit those evil leaders, teachers and preachers directly.
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Good slaves: Social Love: Slave Isolation: (Unedited): 05 June 2013:

Good Slaves:

The free people who are to become good slaves must first not question anything and believe all they are told. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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Social Love:

The free people who are to become good slaves must hate education and love social lifestyles. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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Slave Isolation:

The free people who are to become good slaves must prefer self isolation over family or tribal/Clan organizations. 

C.J.MacKechnie

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A free people who are taught to decide for themselves to hate all forms of education. Will begin to fight against any teacher/one who wants to teach them anything and for any reason. Even if it is basic life skills or skills of survival. The effective transition or transformation from a free society to an enslaved society will begin when the primary language is minimized and bastardized.
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The importance of any and all social lifestyles will become more important than an education or even family unity. The importance of social life styles even becomes more important than self improvement.
When Social lifestyles become more important than National Identity or National Unity. This will be another sign when when the transformation from a free society into enslavement can begin by any traitorous government personnel.
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Apathy for anyone and anything who is not you or directly related to your continuance of your chosen lifestyle. Will be another sign for the successful transformation into an enslaved society.
Apathy is the worst of the enslavement signals. When We The People no longer care to be free or involved. Who become entertained at other peoples misery, suffering and accidents. Who refuses to become involved in any accident or problem they happen by. The time of transitional enslavement is very close at hand.
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For those who refuse to become apathetic. Directing their hatred and anger into a created perpetual  war. Will permanently injure them, Kill them or mentally disable them. Those who seem to be stronger than most may become dis-disillusioned. In which they will probably act out and then become imprisoned. Problem of the warrior solved. Those few who retain all of their faculties will be too few in numbers to do anything substantial.
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Self Imposed isolation will become preferred over physical interactions. With all of the entertainment available to a person within the privacy of their homes. There is no need to leave except for work or shopping. With absolute content control of all digital materials. Freedom of speech can still be free until it becomes digitized. but, then again the people will prefer digital content over interpersonal relationships. So, freedom of speech will become null and void by human preference.
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Added on 11 Oct 2013:
The importance of education.
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-october-8-2013/exclusive---malala-yousafzai-extended-interview-pt--1
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-october-8-2013/exclusive---malala-yousafzai-extended-interview-pt--2
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-october-8-2013/exclusive---malala-yousafzai-extended-interview-pt--3
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This is not a how to Concept: To enslave an entire free population.

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:THIS IS PROPHECY:

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How to prevent it? Is up to you.
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Separate Person: (Unedited): 08 May 2013:

The person who can separate themselves from their religion, also separates themselves from righteousness, Honor, Integrity and trust. C.J.MacKechnie

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A person who can separate themselves from their religion and make decisions which favors business or politics. Is a liar especially if those decisions involve sin, death, cruelty, Harm, Chaos, hate, anger, revenge and enslavement.

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Civilizations Foundation 3: (Unedited): 28 Feb 2013:

Civilization can only occur when there is civility between the people. Civility can only happen when there is a mutual agreement to live in accordance to the foundations of the 10 Commandments. 
C.J.MacKechnie

====================

Civilization does not grow out of the construction of industry, buildings, farms, intellectual concepts, war machines or political leaders. Civilization can only grow when the foundations of the 10 Commandments are a part of the fundamental belief system of the  people.
C.J.MacKechnie

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Forced civility can only last for a short time. Forcing a people to live with the fear of the 10 commandments through the intimidating justice of man only builds hate and anger. Which will soon be followed by revolt.
C.J.MacKechnie

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To avert all of the coming bad and sad prophecies. We each must decide to do the following everyday, every hour, every minute and every second.

To Love one another.

To live in peace with everyone.  

To exist in harmony with all.  

To Cherish all life.  

To be obedient to the Laws of God.  

To become righteous and holy by the accepting eyes of God only.  

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Earth Hell: (Unedited): 15 Feb 2013:

What makes Hell on Earth? Hate, War, Chaos, and Death. You do these 4 things intentionally daily and hell is ours to share. C.J.MacKechnie

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Selfish Revelator: (Unedited): 02 Dec 2012:

The great revelator who reveals for the progression of hate and distrust, Maybe seen as a great leader. When the truth has always been the opposite. The great secrets which he reveals is only for his selfish accumulation for power, authority and wealth.  C.J.MacKechnie

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A revelator of GOD, will direct everything to GOD and not to him self. The secrets revealed will be encompassed by a new beginning of moving forward in peace and harmony. Violence, anger and hatred will not be a viable option upon hearing the secret which has been kept from all of humanity for a great deal of time. In fact the secrets kept. All proof of it's existence has been utterly destroyed, Just like the planet Mars. Even where their is destruction. Something is always left behind, if your willing to look long and hard enough.
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We are all one humanity, one species and one family. When all of the common peoples unite together to love one another, to live in peace with each other and to exist in harmony. Then we all can find a very rich life we all can live with great meaning.
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If you cannot separate yourself from the lies and deceptions of the separation and division of the races. Then you, your family and your entire church will/may not be one of the elect, protected, saved or raptured. You must begin to know and believe that we are a single race of beings called humans. We are all brother and sister to one another.  

The DNA fingerprinting was established in 1984. Read it well. Believe the truth and reject the lies you have only known as truth. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_profiling

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_%28human_classification%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_Genome_Project

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The history of humanity told by many different traditions. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_and_Eve

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From about 8 minutes and 50 seconds to the introduction of the European leader. Listen good. This was in 26 June 2000. 

http://youtu.be/Y_8XRkb-wbY

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Research for yourself the Human skin. learn how it is the largest organ of the human body. Learn about all of the primary functions of the human skin. Then learn about the minor function of the coloring of the skin. Learn how if you lose a primary function of the skin. You can die. Where as if you lose your skin coloring. You will just be uncomfortable, but still living with possible social ridicule. Now, after you have learned all about your human skin. Ask yourself this. Why do we not compare other organs of the body with other people such as the liver, kidneys, gall bladder and etc. How come there isn't racial stereo types for those who can drink much alcohol and those who cannot drink? Why? Race or the coloring of the skin is illogical and without actual fact.
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Culture Destruction: 22 Dec 2011

A culture of people. Who each individually look for opportunities for revenge-able actions. Has already self destructed. C.J.MacKechnie 

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This is not just about any particular culture. This is about you individually, Your individual family, About your tribe or clan, About your town or city, About your people or nation and about your religion and culture. 
When you embrace and believe in your fundamental right for revenge. You must know all that will result is only more pain and suffering, more death and destruction, more sickness and stagnation, more devolution and extinction. Nothing good will ever come from revenge, Even thinking about revenge hardens a persons heart. Thus begins to grow apathy, a disease which is contagious to your children first. From your own hate so to will your children and your children's death you will see and feel. 
I understand where the culture of revenge is mandatory for continued existence and life. But, That is all it is existence and not any life worth living. If someone does a bad thing to you whether it be on purpose or by accident. You must seek revenge and retribution for any action done to you. You must do so to a greater severity. Or else someone will perceive you to be weak and a potential future target by them. Whoever "THEM" may be. This action of revenge is a psychological self protection mechanism. Revenge and retribution involves ego, pride, anger and hate. How does anything good come from this? We all know only good comes from GOD, Allah, Grandfather. So, if there is no good in a thing or a action or even a thought. Then there is No GOD, ALLAH, Grandfather.  
Seek no more revenge or retribution. Love one another and live in peace. So that all may have a life worth living in harmony.

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Name changed to "Culture Destroyed". Because it already is. A society, religion, nation and/or culture. Must have lots of babies and bring in new people.  Just so extinction doesn't become a reality.
I do not remember what the original title was (25 Oct 2012).
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no hard copy or duplicates.
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Death Apathy: (Unedited): 06 Oct 2012:

The death of you always begins with a small disease like a single cancer cell. Apathy is such a disease. Which kills your humanity via the contamination of your mind. 

Apathy always begins with the small things. 

Such as taking a small interesting or useful thing which has been lost. Maybe, at work you have a collection of lost and found. You search the lost and found box often for items to take. After all, the excuses you create, justify the theft and you even re-define it as something which is not theft. That makes it all OK. No it doesn't?

Such as lying and cheating, speaking falsehoods which benefits you or creating rumors which is meant to harm another. Cheating in a simple and fun game or even on a minor test in school. You can say it is all OK until you have been caught. Then you begin to rationalize that the only wrong you have done was getting caught. So begins your evolution of becoming a better liar, a better thief and a better cheater. After all it is only wrong if you get caught. 

Apathy is a sweet candy, which tastes wonderful and can be very exciting. Apathy is all about you, your own selfish wants and selfish desires. The feelings of others, the laws of civilization, the laws of morality matters not to you. What you feel is right for you is what you falsely think and falsely believe is absolutely right for you. The disease of Apathy causes you to believe that a lie or falsehood is true and right. The disease of apathy begins to transform you into that wrong thing in which you believe you are. Over time, Over the years and Over the decades, that sweet apathy candy begins to spoil inside your body and mind. 

The disease of apathy takes hold of you. All that you have once loved and taken for granted is long gone. The freedoms you once had is as well long gone as you peer through bars of steel. The health you once had is gone as the physical diseases with immoral behavior is killing your body and isolating you from good people. Through all of the apathy, you have discovered that you are now alone and abandoned. All of the apathetic people whom you have chosen over the good and caring people are gone as well. Your chosen apathetic friends have chosen to reject you. For some delusional reason you think why? why? why? Probably because they were all as apathetic as you. When you can no longer be a source of their entertainment, excitement. They will no longer include you. Just as you have done to others.

Hate and anger wells up. Other negative emotions surface and begin to die as the apathy within you kills off those emotions as well. Numbness and nothingness. There is no more feeling. There is nothing you care about anymore. Not even yourself. Your will to live has become a will to merely exist. Soon that to will be gone. Soon, very soon. It will no longer matter if you are alive or dead. 

All you have now is time. The silence of nothingness cause time to tick away loudly. The logic part of your mind remains intact. So, you begin to reflect upon your life. The life without meaning, purpose and understanding. The logical conclusion of how you have become a waste of life begins to over take you. Even in this self-destructive moment you may not even be aware of the apathy which controls your entire being. You only know your alone and no one cares. Your last choice and your final option leads to your last action. A logical action solely based on the original lie and deception. In which you believed as truth. Something which was so small and so insignificant you no longer can grasp it. So you think the bridge or rail tracks looks good. The trucks zooming under bridges become an option. Even your choice of suicide causes harm to others. As the innocent train or truck driver will never forget how you choose them to kill yourself. The officers and emergency workers who only want to save and help others must retrieve your lifeless body. They know from the discovery of your corpse, That they could not help or save you. You do harm many others with your suicide. Even in your total apathetic nature. You do not care. You do not love.

Th cold quiet end has come. Your family and former good friends have many questions. Forever hurt and harmed they have become. They loved and cared about you and you left them after you walked away.  Into that lifestyle, into that world of crime, into the dark shadows of immorality. You choose it and you choose to leave your own family and friends. You choose the addictions over your own family.  Its funny how the truth always comes out after a suicide, after a death from disease or execution. 

Your suicide does not end with your death. Those young ones now see your actions as a possible opportunity for their own life if they make a wrong decision. Even in your death, suicide will live on within the family and friends you have abandoned. Your suicide may even lead to the total disintegration, death and extinction of your whole family. 

Your dead and gone, But not really. Your just dead and now you get to see the conclusion of your life's actions. Through the healthy hearts of your loved ones. You get to feel all of their pains and sufferings. The apathetic disease does not follow you into that which continues after this death of yours. There is continuation. With the apathetic disease dying inside your old dead body. You get to feel everything. Can this be the hell which awaits you? Feeling all of the pain and suffering you have caused in your former life walk?  What shall you do now? Await hells fire and damnation as defined by Christian preachers and pastors. Create you own hell as you begin to dwell on the life's hell you have caused those you still lives and endures on? maybe both? 

Reject all sin and flee from it, right now. Apathy is the active war zone in which the innocents flee from. Even when the innocents flee from the war zone. There pain and suffering may forever be evident upon them. Though they still live.

Reject from yourself all lying and cheating. Reject from yourself all immorality and crime. Reject from yourself all dishonor and unholiness. Seek the truth of the TEN COMMANDMENTS and know it is all about a life worth living and not just an exercise in control and authority.
C.J.MacKechnie
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NOTES:
For those of you who read. Thank you for enduring through my improperly strung together words. Please know the message is important and not the how it was written or even the messenger.  I've not had the benefit of a proper education.
Adding and deleting of content will happen from time to time.
A whole boat load of editing will also happen.
There is no Ink and no copies.
===============
At the top right of my blogger page is a donate button for PayPal. If you liked this blog, were inspired from it. Please help me out with just a little something.  Anything is greatly appreciated and welcomed. 
========================
Musings of an American Truck Driver 
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http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/1477629769
========================================   

True Responsibility: (Unedited): 24 march 2008:

Once you realize and accept that the quality of your childhood is not your fault. The quality of your life today and tomorrow is your fault.
C.J. MacKechnie

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I got caught up in all of that. Blaming everyone and everything for the misery of my life. Then it occurred to me. What now? and whats next? And who is exactly responsible for my failures in life today and tomorrow? The hard answer was ME?
So, You had been abused and tortured in your childhood and here you are now. You are now safe and free of the abuse and torture from your very own flesh and blood family. What now? Continue to be angry? Continue to hate? Continue to not care for anyone or anything? To do these things means your awful and terrible parents was right about you and they win. Don't let them be right and don't let them win. But, Then again it isn't about winning is it? Its about you right now. Its about your future that you can have. A good future worth living. A good life worth having. You survived the worst and may have almost been killed by them numerous times. This is the evidence that you are stronger than they ever were. So, Stop being stupid. Be your own hero and save yourself. Suck it up and stand firm. Go forth and achieve your dreams. Yes, it is OK to have your own dreams now. Build with your own hands the foundation of the education needed to build your dreams. To do allow the thinking of being years or decades behind your age group to hinder you, to stop you or to prevent you from achieving.
I guarantee when you begin to move forward slowly people will notice that your moving and take minimal notice. But, when you get up to speed like a massive freight train. People will move out of your way and maybe even hop aboard for your wonderful ride to come.
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Historical Experience: (Unedited): 16 Aug 2012:

When the logic of your historical experience is contrary to your current existence. There was and still is GOD.
C.J.MacKechnie

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This is for all of you who have endured great abuse and torture in your life. For all of you who have escaped certain death and destruction more than once. It matters not if you are still completely angry with GOD or have even rejected HIS existence. If there is no logical explanation as to why and how you could have survived. But you did. It was GOD who skewed the incredible odds against you into your favor. You have escaped doom. You have escaped more times than should have been possible. Yet, here you are. So, What do you do now? Do you continue on your apathetic path in your current state of merely existing? Do you continue to hate and be angry while causing innocent souls to have a taste of what victimization that you have had to continuously endure?  All without mercy and compassion for you. There were no humans who came to your rescue. The good people who discover your nature outright rejects you. So, What do you do now? The apathy, hate and anger will kill you from the inside. The victim that you are or were is still within you and your nightmares. Will you allow fear and distrust guide your existence?
GOD saved you. There is a reason for him allowing you to live. Pray and meditate to GOD with all of your hate and anger. Discover for yourself the truth of your own reality as well as HIS reasons and purposes for you. If you want answers to your questions. That is the only way to get your answers. No one can speak for GOD but GOD himself. Just be watchful for the message of an answer to be presented to you.
You may discover that you were just worth it. You have value. That HE cared for you. That you have a message to tell. So, that others can learn and evolve. Not everyone can walk through hell and survive. Not everyone can stay and remain in hell and yet retain their identity. Not everyone can live in hell, escape and return again. Have you done that? Can you do that?
Jesus Christ broke the gates of hell and yet souls remain. Can you see or are you still blind? Can you hear my message or are the sound of these photons deafening?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C2o0jHNRuU
You are Beautiful.
You are Treasured.
You are Sacred.
You are HIS.
Love, Peace, Harmony, joy, Freedom and Life can still be yours to have. It is His gift and desire for you.
This was written by a person who was once not worth a dime. Someone who was too dumb, to stupid to be worth educations time. Someone who was told that he should have never been adopted. And etc.
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Will be included in future volumes of "Musings of an American Truck Driver" 
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Difficult Beginnings: (unedited): 21 July 2012

The religious concepts of love, peace, harmony and life may be difficult for a faithful person to believe. Especially, when their faith and belief began with hate, war, chaos and death. C.J.MacKechnie

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Will be included in future volumes of "Musings of an American Truck driver"
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http://www.amazon.com/Musings-American-Truck-Driver-Volume/dp/0985310308

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/musings-of-an-american-truck-driver-chris-john-mackechnie/1109366969

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/138374